His Shoes...

What would it be like if we really could put on the shoes of the people we love and understand what they need?
Its so difficult to know the needs of others...and so hard not to get trapped in your own selfishness. It is difficult not to become sequestered in wanting to redeem yourself all of your selfish acts - all of the times that you only thought about yourself - and in that, you find that you have only succumbed to non productive guilt - something that neither God nor our partner want us to be a part of. I believe that it is normal and healthy to feel an appropriate amount of shame, otherwise learning from your mistakes would be slim to none...but it's a trick not to revel in the shame. So, in the spirit of this post, I won't digress any longer and will move onto better things.
The challenge lies then in starting over, not only in yourself, but in your partners eyes. When it comes to that the only thing that can be done then is to trust that your partner sees you through lenses that are somewhat flattering, although real none-the-less.
I want to put on Tony's shoes. I want to close my eyes and trust him as a tie the laces, and step out into what he must feel. I want only to serve him. My life, as his wife, is to spend every effort, and every thought loving him as best I can. I have to lay down the pride I feel about being "wrong." I hate being wrong. I feel like if I surrender my 'rightness', I give up my power. But so what?! Whats so important about having the power in a relationship anyway? So what if Tony is the most important person in the world to me, who cares if he can hurt me like no one else? Why does it matter if he is the one who is right every argument? Why should it matter?
The only reason it does is because of pride. And right now I am going to lay it down before God.
Jeremy Camp wrote a song whose chorus sings;
lay down my pride
My desires my demise
I'm ready now to see it your way
I'm done I'm through, ignoring you now - it's true -I'm kneeling at the cross of your grace
Lay down my pride
The bottom line is that I know, in reality, I can never put on Tony's shoes, that I'll never know what it's like to be him. What his struggles are, deep inside, how hard he fights against what he knows is wrong...how hard he fights to do what he knows is right. I only see what is on the outside, and what he can let me see on the inside, and what I choose to see. If I choose to look past the distractions on his surface - the things that take me away from seeing the incredible man that he is - then past those distractions, I can see Tony. Only then, once my eyes get past this point, can I truly start to love him. Because love isn't hugs and kisses. It is a true acceptance of a person, good and bad. I can't put on Tony's shoes, but I can rub his feet for him, and I think thats all he needs.